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Uncertainty
Jul. 2nd, 2012 07:54 amOne lazy Saturday afternoon, one of my guy best friends texted me: Bez, let's drink.
I was kinda hesitant at first because I don't like to get up from my slumber~ but in the end, I said yes because I haven't seen him for like, one year. Might as well catch up with him.
I don't know if I made the wrong decision when I decided to spend the weekend with him.
Back story: We met four years ago at the church~ He was from a different organization and we became team mates in the sports fest that year. After that sports fest, we became friends, and yeah, as expected, I fell for him. Hard. I was actually pathetic that time because he was a lazy, jobless, guy. He was also a reckless playboy. But I saw something good beyond that. I even confessed in front him when I was drunk~ and I ended up being dumped. I was used to being rejected, nonetheless.
Since we were in the same circle of friends, it was really awkward. Then as if by divine providence, the guy who dumped me became my best friend (Actually one of my few guy best friends~). He would rant to me about the girls he met, tell me childhood stories, share his dreams, and I eventually became his shock absorber and shoulder to lean on whenever he's dumped or whenever he got scolded at home. It was difficult for me, 'cause I had feelings for him, but I tried brushing them aside to save our friendship. Seeing him everyday and doing nice things to me and to our other friends makes my heart shattered 'cause he is killing me with too much sweetness and kindness. I think he really has his way around girls~ and gays too.
Caveat: His girlfriends get jealous whenever I'm introduced as his best friend. -_-
When I was still a university student, we would meet everyday, play computer games, eat food, drink, sing (he is the vocalist of his band), and virtually, talk about anything under the sun. People at the church thought we were a real couple with all the stuff-sharing that we do. I am close to his family, and he sometimes dragged me along when they have family-related events. After getting a job, we didn't meet often anymore. He would still text, but on very rare occasions. I never forgot his birthday though, because it's the same day as TVXQ's anniversary.
He was the exact opposite of my ideal guy.
He was a bit irresponsible, childish, and dependent.
He's not the type whom you can be proud of nor someone whom you can brag to your family and friends.
So to cut the long story short~ We didn't see each other again until he texted me that day. I eventually moved on from my ill-fated feelings for him.
The catch: He admitted two years ago that he likes me.
---------------------------
It was really good seeing him again. He was still the happy-go-lucky, carefree, outgoing, lazy guy that I knew. His band mates were even there~ and we all had a great time .
God knows what happened when we got drunk that night, and now I am confused whether my feelings for him came back.
I've made a deal with myself: If he fixes his life, graduates, gets a job, and learns how to face responsibility, I might reconsider my feelings for him.
I was kinda hesitant at first because I don't like to get up from my slumber~ but in the end, I said yes because I haven't seen him for like, one year. Might as well catch up with him.
I don't know if I made the wrong decision when I decided to spend the weekend with him.
Back story: We met four years ago at the church~ He was from a different organization and we became team mates in the sports fest that year. After that sports fest, we became friends, and yeah, as expected, I fell for him. Hard. I was actually pathetic that time because he was a lazy, jobless, guy. He was also a reckless playboy. But I saw something good beyond that. I even confessed in front him when I was drunk~ and I ended up being dumped. I was used to being rejected, nonetheless.
Since we were in the same circle of friends, it was really awkward. Then as if by divine providence, the guy who dumped me became my best friend (Actually one of my few guy best friends~). He would rant to me about the girls he met, tell me childhood stories, share his dreams, and I eventually became his shock absorber and shoulder to lean on whenever he's dumped or whenever he got scolded at home. It was difficult for me, 'cause I had feelings for him, but I tried brushing them aside to save our friendship. Seeing him everyday and doing nice things to me and to our other friends makes my heart shattered 'cause he is killing me with too much sweetness and kindness. I think he really has his way around girls~ and gays too.
Caveat: His girlfriends get jealous whenever I'm introduced as his best friend. -_-
When I was still a university student, we would meet everyday, play computer games, eat food, drink, sing (he is the vocalist of his band), and virtually, talk about anything under the sun. People at the church thought we were a real couple with all the stuff-sharing that we do. I am close to his family, and he sometimes dragged me along when they have family-related events. After getting a job, we didn't meet often anymore. He would still text, but on very rare occasions. I never forgot his birthday though, because it's the same day as TVXQ's anniversary.
He was the exact opposite of my ideal guy.
He was a bit irresponsible, childish, and dependent.
He's not the type whom you can be proud of nor someone whom you can brag to your family and friends.
So to cut the long story short~ We didn't see each other again until he texted me that day. I eventually moved on from my ill-fated feelings for him.
The catch: He admitted two years ago that he likes me.
---------------------------
It was really good seeing him again. He was still the happy-go-lucky, carefree, outgoing, lazy guy that I knew. His band mates were even there~ and we all had a great time .
God knows what happened when we got drunk that night, and now I am confused whether my feelings for him came back.
I've made a deal with myself: If he fixes his life, graduates, gets a job, and learns how to face responsibility, I might reconsider my feelings for him.
